The Luckless Man
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful: Harvey Lassen thought.
He inched closer to get a better look at the woman standing next to the
indoor aquarium. She was an exquisite beauty indeed. Her long flowing auburn
hair, her lipstick a soft red, and an evening dress that matched the color
of her lips. She captured Harvey's attention like no other woman at the party.
She was having a conversation with a man in a blue suit. Harvey didn't
recognize the gentleman but that didn't matter. All he cared about at this
moment was the woman. Her pleasant demeanor and a laugh that gave Harvey
chills. He felt a strong need to approach her and talk to her. To ask her
name and everything about her life. Then he would tell her everything she
wanted to know about his life. Maybe Harvey finally found his Ms. Right.
He walked up behind her and could smell a delicate touch of her
perfume. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, Harvey mustered up the courage
to introduce himself.
Feeling a gentle tap on her shoulder, the woman turned around and saw a
short balding man smiling up at her. He wore a white suit with a black tie
and what hair he had left was greased back on his head.
Then he spoke. "Hi there sweetheart. My name is Harvey. What's your name?"
"Susan," said the woman with no particular enthusiasm.
"Well Susan, would you like to dance?" he asked. "I'm pretty good."
Shaking her head she responded, "I don't think so."
Then the woman turned around to continue her conversation with the
gentleman Harvey didn't recognize. The inner pain of rejection stabbed at
his insides. But not for long, for he had grown so used to it. When the
party began winding down, Harvey made his way home, alone as usual.
The next day, Harvey went to the bookstore to pick up something for his
nightly reading. He scanned through the sections of fiction and non-fiction,
but found nothing interesting. Making his way to the self-help section,
Harvey looked over the wide variety of books on display.
There were books on how to lose weight, how to get a better job, as
well as books on how to find love.
He picked up a book titled, How to Get Your Hands On the Perfect Mate. He
quickly flipped through the chapters and feeling that he had nothing to
lose, decided to purchase the book.
Early in the evening, something went wrong with the television. Harvey
found himself sitting in his living room
with nothing to do. He saw the book he had purchased lying on the coffee
table and picked it up. He opened the book to the table of contents to try
and find a chapter that interested him. The chapters promised to find the
reader many different types of women. But there was one chapter that caught
Harvey's attention. It was one page long and was titled, How to Find Killer
Harvey thought to himself: 'If finding hot and sexy women is as easy as
reading one page, hell, I'll do it.'
He opened the book to the beginning of that chapter and started to read.
If you want to meet killer women just
recite the following passage: Abi, wabi,
labi, lu. Say it twenty times and
get progressively louder as you go.
When you're done, you'll have killer
women unable to resist you.
Disappointed, Harvey threw the book down to the floor. He expected to
read something about improving his lifestyle and making himself more
attractive to women. Instead, all he received was a ridiculous passage to
repeat over and over again. Still feeling like he had nothing to lose,
Harvey gave it a try.
"Abi, wabi, labi, lu." he chanted.
This is a perfect turn my life has taken: he thought. Chanting to find
He spoke louder, "Abi, wabi, labi, lu. Abi, wabi, labi, lu."
Louder and louder he chanted until he reached twenty. Harvey then
waited to see if anything happened as a result of the chant, but there was
only silence. This was an epitome of his dreary life. Never achieving the
things he wanted, with love being his foremost desire. Convinced it would
always be out of his reach, Harvey covered his face with his hands in order
to hold back the pain
Suddenly the doorbell chimed. Harvey looked at the door with amazement.
He certainly wasn't expecting anyone.
"Who the hell could that be?" he muttered.
He walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. To his
definite surprise, Harvey's vision captured the most
beautiful face he had ever seen. Her fiery red hair and lips to match, both
in contrast with her bright blue eyes caused Harvey's blood to rush faster
through his veins. He stood at the door, transfixed by this sight. Wondering
how long it would last, and hoping it would last forever.
The doorbell chimed again.
Coming to his senses, Harvey quickly unlocked and opened the door. The
rest of the woman proved to be just as beautiful as her face. She
wore an evening gown that fit firmly over her sensuous curves and heels that
were just right with the ensemble. Harvey swallowed as he took all of it in.
She said nothing. Just stared at him with an aggressive look of purpose.
Opening his mouth, Harvey muttered up the courage and charm he hoped
would be enough.
"Hi there," he said in a winded tone.
Still not speaking, the woman slowly raised her hand and placed it on
his chest. She then started leading him backward into the house. Harvey went
along with it and was at a loss of what else to say. Now standing in the
center of his living room, he watched as she walked back to the door and
closed it. She bolted the locks and turned to face him. Nervously wiping the
sweat from his forehead, Harvey internally readied himself for her approach.
Slowly she moved toward him. Her eyes strangely showing some wild
anticipation. Harvey didn't know what to make of it, but he was to afraid to
contemplate. All he could do was stand and watch as she came closer to him.
She stopped for a moment in front of him. And before Harvey knew what
was happening, she pounced on him. Emitting a vicious roar like some wild
animal. Then biting him on the shoulder. Harvey screamed and fell backward
onto the floor with the woman on top of him. She released her bite on his
shoulder, lifted her head, and came down to bite him again. This time,
Harvey was able to lift up his right arm for protection. The woman caught
his hand in her mouth and bit down hard. Harvey let out another scream as
the extreme pain rushed up his forearm in a wild fury.
He pulled his hand away from her mouth and grabbed a hold of her neck.
Using all of his strength, Harvey pushed hard, and the woman rolled
off of him onto the floor. With surprising speed, he got to his feet and ran
toward the stairs. The front door was his only way out but he knew he
wouldn't be able to unlock it before she could get to him again.
Halfway to the top of the stairs he turned his head to find that the
woman was right behind him. Her mouth open and ready to take another bite
out of him. She grabbled one of Harvey's legs and he fell down onto the
stairs, his left knee ramming into one of the steps. He held on for dear
life to prevent her from pulling him down. She then grabbed his left leg and
bit him again, shaking her head wildly. Out of sheer desperation, Harvey
raised his right foot and kicked her in the face as hard as he could. Losing
her grip on his leg, the woman fill backwards, down the stairs and slammed
onto the floor. She lie motionless.
Harvey attempted to stand but the excruciating pain in his left leg
caused him to sit back down on the stairs. Looking down at the crazy woman,
he wondered whether she might get up again.
Suddenly he heard something crash through a window in the room atop of
the stairs. He turned to look and again his vision caught another gorgeously
stunning woman standing at the top of the stairs looking down on him. Harvey
made another attempt to get up and his left leg, probably broken, screamed
in pain. He winced and dropped back down onto the stairs.
The woman then proceeded slowly down the stairs toward him. As she came
closer, Harvey could do nothing but take in all of her extraordinary beauty.
The long flowing hair, the color of her lips matching her dress, and her
almost pleasant demeanor, all elements that he found so attractive. When the
woman reached him, she brought herself down to his eye level and gave him a
sinister smile. Looking at her, he realized that maybe he finally found the
love that he so desperately desired. The last thing Harvey saw was her
beautiful face approaching him before she sunk her teeth into his neck.